Life at 13 – The New York Times

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London, a 13-year-old girl who lives in suburban Maryland, took a more considered approach to joining social media than many teenagers do. Knowing her mom was skeptical, London put together a presentation making a case for why she should join TikTok, complete with promises such as allowing her mother to review her posts in advance. It worked: On London’s 13th birthday, she joined TikTok.

Since doing so, she has experienced some of the joys of social media — experiences that were not possible in a less networked world. In her living room, London streams popular dance videos onto a TV, and sometimes her mother (a former dancer) and sister (who has nonverbal autism) join her. TikTok also allows London to stay in closer touch with friends.

Yet the downsides of social media are never far away.

London is constantly confronted with images of people who somehow seem prettier, richer, more fashionable and more popular. Sometimes, she stumbles on truly disturbing videos, like one claiming to show a woman flushing her baby down a toilet.

Above all, social media takes the normal anxieties of teenage life and hypercharges them. When another girl in London’s school stops replying to her messages at night, London ends up crying. When a group of girls gather to get dressed for a dance, they obsess not only over how they look, but how their before-and-after videos will play on TikTok.

“It’s not as easy as it used to be,” London said, about being a teenager. “’Cause you can’t escape social media unless you delete the apps.”

London is one of three teenage girls whom my colleague Jessica Bennett followed for the past year, online and offline. Jessica’s piece, complete with screenshots and online videos, offers a look at teenage life today. (The girls’ parents gave The Times permission to do the reporting, and we have not used last names.)

As I read the article, I felt deep sympathy for today’s teenagers. Many feel that they have no choice but to plunge into social media. And it does have advantages. Yet the disadvantages often seem larger. Small mistakes — the unavoidable mistakes of the teenage years — become humiliations that hundreds or thousands of people see. People are quicker to be nastier in writing than they would be in person. Envy and jealousy, more commonly known as FOMO, are constant. Adrenaline and stress are always just a glance away.

“The adolescent brain is kind of like a car that — when it comes to the desire for social feedback — has a hypersensitive gas pedal, with relatively low-functioning brakes,” said Mitch Prinstein, the chief science officer of the American Psychological Association.

In recent years, executives at technology companies and some academic researchers have argued that the evidence of social media’s harm remains mixed. They’re not entirely wrong about that. No study has demonstrated the precise effect of TikTok vs. Instagram or texting vs. posting. Some studies don’t come to much of a conclusion at all.

But most studies have indeed found a link between teenage smartphone use and mental health problems. Even more telling, to my mind, is that the timing and logic line up: Teen mental health (and the amount teens sleep) began to decline between 10 and 15 years ago, just as smartphones, Facebook and other social media were becoming ubiquitous. Nobody has offered a persuasive explanation for the decline other than the revolution in daily life caused by technology.

Technology surely is not the only cause of the problems. It does seem to be a leading cause.

In an article accompanying Jessica’s story, my colleague Catherine Pearson makes a fascinating point. “Every generation has its moral panic,” Catherine writes. It was rock music in the 1950s, and long hair, rap music and video games in later decades. “And for Gen Z — teenagers today — it is, undoubtedly, social media,” she adds.

It’s a good reminder that not all moral panics are justified. It’s also a reminder that something is different this time. After the onset of rock, rap, long hair and video games, teenage mental health didn’t deteriorate. After the rise of smartphones and ever-present social media, it has.

I recommend Jessica’s nuanced reporting on London and two other 13-year-olds — Anna, in Colorado, and Addi, who lives near Lake Michigan.

You can also read a list of social media tips from teenagers, compiled by Sharon Attia. Among them: You don’t have to reply right away; unfollow people who make you feel bad; put your phone down and go outside; and — a tip for parents — watch your own social media use.

Related: President Biden has promised to provide every American access to reliable high-speed internet. He still has a long way to go.

  • Russia struck at least five cities in Ukraine with missiles, damaging energy infrastructure. Rescuers are searching for survivors under rubble.

  • The attack came hours after Volodymyr Zelensky condemned Russia at the U.N. He also told the Security Council that it was powerless while Russia had a veto.

  • Zelensky is expected to meet with Biden and members of Congress today.

Photography has aided Black liberty since before the Civil War, inciting moral outrage about slavery and racism, Margaret Renkl writes.

Enough with the hand-wringing, Jamelle Bouie writes: It’s preposterous to think that Biden should just give up political power.

No pen, no pad: Unlike their forebears, many of today’s rappers don’t write down their lyrics. Watch how hip-hop is now made.

Lives Lived: Jango Edwards helped lead a back-to-basics revival of clowning, embracing transgressive traditions and infusing them with social commentary. He died at 73.

Disarray: The Chicago Bears quarterback Justin Fields blamed coaching for his team’s early-season woes, hours before its defensive coordinator, Alan Williams, resigned.

W.N.B.A.: Connecticut Sun defeated Minnesota Lynx to advance to a semifinal against New York Liberty.

Fan theory: New York Giants supporters have become convinced that the head coach, Brian Daboll — not the offensive coordinator, Mike Kafka — is calling the plays.

Truth in comedy: The New Yorker reported last week that the comic Hasan Minhaj had fabricated some supposedly autobiographical stories he told onstage. (Minhaj said they were based on “emotional truth.”) Stand-up comedy does not need to be factual, the Times critic Jason Zinoman writes, but context matters: Minhaj’s journalistic rigor, and his focus on race and politics, led audiences to hold him to a higher standard.

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