Biden Goes Dark Brandon In State Of The Union Address: ‘America Is Super Walked, TBH’

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During Tuesday night’s State of the Union address, President Joe Biden could announce that US scientists have discovered a cure for cancer, and within hours a Fox News pundit would be saying: “Great. Now the patriotic cancer doctor will lose his career to Biden’s relentless political ambitions. “

Neither Biden nor America is perfect, but the president has plenty of accomplishments to crow about: The unemployment rate fell to 3.4% in January, the lowest since 1969; Inflation, while still high, is slowing; And his party has historically done well in midterm elections.

But in the right-wing media’s “land of you-will-believe, because we’ll say it over and over again,” Biden is, in no particular order: an illegitimate president; America’s Most Radical President Ever; amnesia-addled and unable to complete sentences; a criminal mastermind who has deceived the American people and every level of US law enforcement; an impressively deadpan, but controlled, “Weekend at Bernie’s”-style, Vice President Kamala Harris; weak; Tyrant unfair and deceitful.

It doesn’t matter to those who hate him that Biden doesn’t say anything in the State of the Union address

He can stand before Congress and announce plans to cut corporate taxes, pray in schools and name every airport in America after Ronald Reagan, and every move he makes is a diabolical mix of evil and wickedness. .

Dark Brandon Vs. Pronoun Petrol:Illustrated original story of the Jobiden meme

So my question is: why bother? Why not go to “Dark Brandon” and just walk up to the podium – or better yet, have someone push him in a wheelchair – for a big speech and tell Fox News/Newsmax/OANN/Patriotblatherblog (I might have made that last one up) what the people want?

It will make their lives easier and the rest of us will probably enjoy more than the usual state of union pablum.

Here’s a speech draft I worked on, free:

State of the Union address to the Fox News crowd

Mr. Speaker, Madam Vice President, and our First Lady and Second Gentleman, Members of Congress and Cabinet, Supreme Court Justices, the ghosts of Karl Marx and Vladimir Lenin, and members of the cannibalistic global cabal I lead: Good evening. You all look delicious.

Tonight, I come to let you know that the Kingdom of the Union is … so wake up (open)!

That’s right, over the past year, we’ve made great progress on our mission to transform America into a genderless, vegetarian nation with a foundation of socialism and a firm belief that there is no God.

In the past six months, for example, our elite social justice warriors have secretly inserted serious race doctrine into more than 95% of the nation’s Bibles and even sent subliminal gender identity lessons to the iPads and iPhones used by 67% of US children. Under 10 years.

Biden wants to save us from our gas stoves:What will the nanny state think next?

Are ‘Stovetroopers’ Coming For My Gas Stove?:I don’t know, but I’m angry!

At the behest of my supervisors, Barack Obama and George Soros, my administration must feature drag queens at halftime at every sporting event — Super Bowl gig, sorry Rihanna — and meat will be outlawed by the end of March. This year, with gas stoves and guns.

As you can see, I am reading tonight’s speech from a laptop computer. It’s from my son, Hunter Biden, and it’s a large file labeled “Biden Crime Family Dirty Dealings.” I’m sure you’d like to get your hands on it, but you can’t, because this is where I lay my plan to ban Christmas and outlaw religion.

(Wait a full two minutes, staring blankly into space.)

where am i Are my pancakes here yet?

oops Sorry, sometimes I go a little blank for spelling. It’s just plain ol’ dementia. Nothing the blood of a few young conservatives who fell victim to “cancel culture” can fix.

(Sip from a glass of red liquid.)

Anyway, next month I’m going to disband the military because I hate America. Oh, and that Chinese spy balloon that was floating around the country over the weekend? It actually belonged to Bill Gates. He was using it to activate the chips he implanted in each of them with the COVID-19 vaccine.

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